South Lanarkshire Leisure and Culture

 

On 23 January 2024 I was diagnosed as being neurodivergent which was kind of a surprise to me, funny enough not to anyone that knows me.

Although surprising this pretty much answered my full life and why I am the way I am.

So come join me in a show where I’ll give you a first-hand insight from my delusional eyes to what goes on in my ever-expanding mind with stories of how I've managed to survive through a life of total confusion to how and why I now prefer to be alone, mostly!

Suitable for ages 16+.

Available to book online or by calling East Kilbride Arts Centre on 01355 261000.

Cost: £27.50 (subject to £1.50 transaction fee)

 

Lanark Amateur Music Society presents We Will Rock You.

Music and lyrics by Queen.
Story and script by Ben Elton.
Original vocal score by Brian May, Roger Taylor and Mike Dixon.

“We Will Rock You” is presented through special arrangement with, and all authorised performance materials are supplied by, Theatrical Rights Worldwide (TRW). 

www.theatricalrights.co.uk

We Will Rock You is a high-octane, adrenaline-fuelled musical featuring more than 20 iconic Queen hits, including “Bohemian Rhapsody,” “We Are the Champions,” “Somebody to Love,” “Don’t Stop Me Now,” and of course, “We Will Rock You”. Set in a post-apocalyptic future where individuality has been outlawed and music is controlled by algorithms, the story follows two young revolutionaries who dare to defy the system to save rock ‘n’ roll.

Lanark! Are you ready to rock?

Available to book online or by calling Lanark Memorial Hall on 01555 673199.

Cost: £18 / £16 conc / £15 group 10+ (subject to £1.50 transaction fee)

 

Written and directed by Paul Moore.

From here to maternity…

And for every pregnant mother climbing that hill to Rottenrow, it took an eternity!

It’s a cold night in May 2001…Big Andy and his sidekick in security, Slim Si are watching over the decrepit wards of the iconic Rottenrow Maternity Hospital, the night before it feels the pain of the wrecking ball and is razed to the ground, with no epidural to numb the pain. The end of an epidural era! On their midnight “tour of duty”, our two hapless Security Guards wander through the wards and stumble upon an old box…containing patient files, cod liver oil and a lot of vodka…

And as the vodka kicks in…he reminisces with Slim Si about how him and his siblings were all birthed in the rooms of Rottenrow…and thousands of others. The birth of a nation!  

Before long, it’s drams and prams, pains and weans, distractions and contractions….as The Wummin on The Wards emerge to give birth to their stories (and their weans) in full thrust Glasgow style. Literally all the belly aching hilarity…and a few hysterectomies too. A show that will have you in stitches!!

From the writer of the smash hit musical comedies “The Provy Wummin” and “Meet Me at Boots Corner” – with the pulsating patter of big toe tapping musical numbers-from Bassey to The Beatles and Boney M…and so many more!!

Not to be missed. Grab a seat and pay a visit with your lucozade and grapes and reminisce about “Rottenrow”.

Available to book online or by calling East Kilbride Arts Centre on 01355 261000.

Cost: £24.00 / Group 10+ 10% discount (subject to £1.50 transaction fee)

 

Join us for a night of laughter as part of the Rutherglen 900 celebrations!

After five weeks of laughter, learning and storytelling, it’s time for the grand finale!

Join us for a hilarious evening as local Rugolonian take to the stage to share their funniest stories, memories, and myths about life in the Royal Burgh—celebrating 900 years of Rutherglen with wit and warmth.

Hosted by the brilliant Scott Agnew—former Scottish Comedian of the Year and two-time Sir Billy Connolly Award nominee—this showcase is the culmination of a comedy storytelling course that’s helped everyday folk find their funny and polish their punchlines.

Expect tales of growing up, working, partying, and family legends passed down through generations—all told with heart and humour in a relaxed, supportive setting.

Ages 16+ 

Available to book online or by calling Rutherglen Town Hall on 0141 613 5700.

Cost: £10.00 (subject to £1.50 transaction fee)

 

Scott Agnew presents Tales of The Rutherglen Reformer.

Nearly thirty years ago, rosy cheeked teenager Scott Agnew crossed the threshold at 89 Main Street, Rutherglen into the esteemed offices of the revered and feared Rutherglen Reformer.

What he saw there, what he lived through, made him a man, made him a journalist; made him have a breakdown and made him embark on a career in comedy.

A Mighty Mouse of a local newspaper serving the people of Rutherglen since 1875 it tackled the big, the small and the petty issues the Royal Burgh faced down the decades. Scott was fiercely proud of the paper and it and his journalism and has regaled stories of his time there in comedy clubs around the world, from Kilmarnock to Kuala Lumpur.

Join multi award winning comedian Scott Agnew as he reveals the shenanigans and shaggy dog stories behind the headlines at The Rutherglen Reformer as a special one off celebrating 900 years of Rutherglen, the Royal Burgh.

Scott has written and performed his own BBC Radio 4 series 'Dead Man Talking' as well as being a regular on BBC Radio Scotland's Breaking The News. He's a former Scottish Comedian of the Year, winner of Best Show in Scottish Comedy Awards and a two-time nominee for the Sir Billy Connolly Spirit of Glasgow award.

Available to book online or by calling Rutherglen Town Hall on 0141 613 5700.

Cost: £20.00 / £18.00 concession (subject to £1.50 transaction fee)