South Lanarkshire Leisure and Culture

Clatty Pats - Walk Like a Glaswegian!

Written and directed by Paul Moore.

An Arts Enigma production.

Did you ever get stuck to that famous “sticky carpet”? Did you get “Clatty at Cleopatras” back in the day?

This hilarious homage to big hair, leg warmers, neon and new wave, had them dancing in the aisles during its sell out run in 2023 and is back to take you back to the 80s future when we were mad about Madonna and danced as West End Girls and West End Boys…to the best sounds of the 80s. 

Famous for its “Nurses” nights - join our naughty fab four “Sisters” as they come off shift and shift a few shandies (and the rest) and get up to a whole lot of trouble, blowing bubble gum like Maryhill Madonna's in their tutus, hoping to land a Simon Le Bon, but more often than not going up the road looking like a “hauf chewed bon bon” having bumped into a few Whams & Bam's!

Clatty Pats is open again for business. Get on your 80s neon, hairspray that hair up- big and bold for an outrageously funny trip down 80s memory lane- to the best sounds of the 80s. Based on a few true stories….

“Took me right back to Clatty Pats - Absolutely brilliant!”

“Belter of a soundtrack - and so funny!”

“Brilliant girls night out”

Contains adult humour and strong language 18+

Available to book online or by calling Rutherglen Town Hall on 0141 613 5700.

Cost: £25.00 (subject to £1.50 transaction fee)

Join us at Rutherglen Town Hall to hear world-renowned Johnny Lee Memphis and the JLM band, supported with vocals from The Memphis Belles, come together to produce this explosive and dynamic interpretation of Elvis live in concert - The Absolute Elvis Show.

Elvis was Johnny’s very first inspiration. As a small boy Johnny would passionately watch all of Elvis’s movies and listen to his songs and from the age of three was singing and dancing to entertain his family. As a result of that home grown musical talent Johnny has travelled far and wide and continues to entertain people the world over.

Paying homage to the king since 2004, he is absolutely one of the best Elvis Tribute Artists in the business. His craft has led him to work in countries such as Canada, USA, China, Australia, Spain, Norway, Sweden, Italy, Germany, and of course the Mecca for all Elvis Tribute Artists, Memphis Tennessee where he performed directly across from Graceland.

His career has also introduced him to people who knew Elvis personally. They had the following to say about his performance:

“Johnny is doing Elvis proud, when you meet him it’s like you’ve met your new best friend just like it was with Elvis” Charles Stones (Elvis’ tour manager)

“Boy, you sure brought back a lot of great memories for me with what you just done on that stage” Sam Thompson (Elvis’ bodyguard and close friend)

Available to book online or by calling Rutherglen Town Hall on 0141 613 5700.

Cost: £26.00 (subject to £1.50 transaction fee)

Beyond the Barricade, the UK’s longest running Musical Theatre Concert Tour, is back. Join the cast for two hours of the best of Broadway and the West End, featuring the songs that have made audiences return over and over again for more than 25 years. Enjoy numbers from The Phantom of the Opera, Jesus Christ Superstar, West Side Story, The Lion King, Blood Brothers, Miss Saigon, Hamilton and many others, climaxing with a spectacular finale from, of course, Les Misérables!

The concert tour will feature Andy Reiss, David Fawcett, Katie Leeming and Poppy Tierney, who have all played principal roles in both the West End and UK Tours of Les Misérables, together with a live band who capture the feel of the original orchestrations of the chosen musicals. 

To this day every musical note is still played and sung live – very rare indeed. Beyond the Barricade gives musical theatre songs a bold concert format treatment – but with the conviction and intention to deliver the material as if the audience are watching the original performance.

Available to book online or by calling Lanark Memorial Hall on 01555 673199.

Cost: £29.50 (subject to £1.50 transaction fee)